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For those celebrating today, Happy Easter! 

Barcelona Cathedral - I hope your Good Friday is filled with reflection, rest and some of those 'aha' moments we spoke about in the last video. God Bless You! 

This isn’t a sales post, I’m not selling anything.

I honestly want to know more about you and your experience.

If you’re a man who is currently experiencing any of the following, I would love to interview you for a program I’m creating:

- Feeling lost
- Shame around not “having it all together"
- Negative self-talk and inner criticism
- Reliance on achievement, people-pleasing, or control for identity

This is a call to share your experiences in a safe, non-judgemental space. Sign Up Here:  https://www.scottstemarie.com/menstransformation 

LIFE IS NOT A PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED, BUT A MYSTERY TO BE LIVED 

I’ve been in a rut for a while and currently still in it. Here’s what I’ve been doing (hope this helps):

“Hey Google, define rut”

“a long, deep track made by the repeated passage of the wheels of vehicles.”

Ah, repeated passage, and there it is. Man, language is so cool. I’ll get to that in a bit…

We always see those after pictures eh, or the advertisement for the “end” of the journey. You don’t even see White Goodman while he was fat, only when he’s running Globo Gym and getting a sweet tan from Richie. 

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go watch Dodgeball right now, seriously. 

This rut I've been in started in Mexico when I got super sick and I still can’t shake this strong urge to not care. I lost like 10 pounds and I’m just impatient after weeks of this to be honest. 

A part of me really doesn’t want to do anything, and it’s so easy and attractive to listen to it. The question and skill lies in when that voice is actually a friend and you need to rest, versus when you need to act. 

It’s time to act but not with force or anger. It’s time to act because it’s the best thing for me. And knowing that is the only thing that matters. 

For me, being in a rut can’t be solved by thinking, journaling or planning. That’s a tough one to learn. I remember writing pages and pages, looking to have a solution to every thought, every scenario and ‘symptom’. 

It was like this very shiny attraction to try and figure this whole thing out by writing out thoughts, psychoanalyzing and talking it out with a therapist. 

Not this time - and that’s where I know there's been serious growth for me.

In this rut I’m going to the gym

In this rut I’m speaking to clients where I can hold space for them. People seem to like knowing Scott goes through stuff too. You better believe it. 

In this rut I’m cooking and cleaning

In this rut I’m back to metal guitar, trying out the latest In Flames riff

In this rut I’m submitting my assignments to finish my Masters Degree this year. 

When the rut involves action, no matter how small, it gives a sense of climbing out. However, the key seems to be in doing something just a little different. It’s that ‘repeated passage of the wheels’ that gets us stuck sometimes. So if you (and me) can shake things up by adding a bit of a new direction and speed to the day, the rut will smooth out in time. 

So what would really be good for you? Not what you "should" do, but really what do you sense would be good? 

What have you been feeling the most in the past 3-6 months? 

WHAT!? Almost 6 months since my last video upload?! Gotta graduate, travel, get married, start a family, THEN I'll upload 😂 If you're interested in speaking 1-1 with me on a coaching/guidance call, apply here:  https://www.scottstemarie.com/coaching 

I remember reading my first 'self-help' book back in 2008 "The Power of Now" by Ekharte Tolle. Oh yeah, I was looking for a cure during a deep depression and injury at work. This book dragged me into the intellectual side of mental health and spirituality. Those on this quest of self-help (it becomes an addiction for some) - I ask them "what are you looking for?" What the heck was 18 year old Scott looking for? 

This is a mans call to adventure, call into the desert. 

About 70 book later after 12 years...the dark night of the soul came to me. Call it some more depression, anxiety, existential despair, it was all here. In 2020, I read my last self-help book ahahaha. 


When we encounter something that no words can express and our intellectual solutions just can't grasp what we're wrestling, we need more than a passive podcast voice or words on a page.

I wonder what you're wrestling in your life? Wrestling usually comes with some kind of resistance. Wrestling who we truly are, wrestling the reality of what's happened to us and with where we're going.

Thomas Aquinas in the year 1273 had an experience where he truly encountered God. He said:

"I can write no more. I have seen things which make my writings like straw."

Are you having a similar experience? Passive words on a page and a one way conversation with a podcaster just don't bring the comfort and guidance needed. 

There's an urge, a restlessness and a sense that there's more. We feel lost, disconnected and fear making a wrong decision. We don't really know what's happening and lose who we are because we are becoming something new.

What are you becoming? I'm here to help. Men, if this sounds like you, I'll send you a quick message of hope when you join here:  https://www.scottstemarie.com/menstransformation 

Are you a successful man but still feel...lost and just not happy with yourself? I want to hear YOUR story I'd really love to chat with you. 

I used to think more success = more happiness. Get engaged = inner peace. I thought the more I DID and achieved, the better I would feel. But despite the career wins, the social network, I still felt empty. I later realized that the inner critic doesn’t retire with only the external world—it just moves the goalposts. Self-doubt continues to live no matter what you do or achieve. 

You may be at a very important point in life where you realize the whole game was rigged - happiness and peace was never about what was out there, it's an inner journey. Men are still discouraged from doing the inner work and measure growth based on creating a world outside - but that's only one part of it. 

If you’ve ever felt this way I want to hear from YOU so please DM me on instagram the word "COMPASSION" and I'll set a call up so we can do a deep dive together. My instagram @scott_stemarie 

It's hard to love ourselves when we're not actually being ourselves - when we don't know who we are...

As kids, our deepest need was love, safety, and connection. We learned early that certain behaviours brought attention and approval, while others led to punishment or worse, being ignored.

Maybe we felt like we had to be the “good” one, the “strong” one, the “smart” one —whatever made us be seen and heard.

Over time, this conditional love taught us: Who I am isn’t enough. I have to be something else. I have to be more.

This fear—of not being enough—sticks with us and every person I've worked with feels it.

"If I don’t perform, achieve, or please others, I won't be loved."

The real work isn’t becoming “more”—it’s unlearning the lie that you weren’t enough to begin with. This is the inner work that I promise is worth it. 

If you felt something when you read this, feel free to send me a message (go find my email) and I'll share a project I'm working on with you.